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Oh, Bad Luck
Sep. 19th, 2013 04:08 pmIn the spring of 1313, after 13 years of marriage, it became evident an heir was finally on the way for the King and Queen of Deviancia.
“In honour of our future child, I shall add an extra month to the year,” said the King. “To bring the baby luck!”
The Prince was born on the 13th day of the 13th month.
It was a Friday.
“Really?” said the Queen. “You couldn’t have worked out this was going to happen?”
“My love,” said the King, trying to soothe his wife’s angst. “Let’s not give into triskaidekaphobia!”
But he did feel uneasy, and decided to invite the local fairies to the christening to be on the safe side.
There were the usual presents of handsomeness, long life, intelligence. Then it came to the turn of the youngest fairy. She was desperate to get to the lavatory (fairies have bladders the size of a peanut) and didn’t think carefully about the wording of her gift.
“He’ll be able to absorb others’ bad luck!” she declared. And sprinted to the facilities.
“So he’ll be full of everyone else’s misfortune,” said the Queen beginning to weep. The young Prince patted his velociraptor rattle and grinned like a gummy Cheshire cat, completely unperturbed.
The oldest fairy now stepped forward.
“I cannot remove the gift,” she said, “but I can lessen its effects. On the Prince’s 18th birthday, when he’s at an a capella concert, a shoe thrown at his neighbour will hit him instead. Whomsoever that shoe fits will be his one true love and they’ll live happily ever after.”
The Prince grew up and reached puberty. Because of his curse, all his friends had miraculously clear skin while he had truly breathtaking acne. But nothing could mar his charming personality.
On 13/13/1331 it all happened as the fairy had foretold, and as soon as the swelling had gone down, the Prince travelled the kingdom, searching for the one the shoe fitted.
Finally, under a lover’s moon, he saw her:
Beauty, his own true sweetheart.
The ceremony was held outside in the palace grounds as the bride had some problems getting up and down stairs.
“They do seem very happy,” said the oldest fairy, tentatively. “And she’s got lovely chestnut hair.”
The King drained his thirteenth cocktail and glared at the fay.
“Did you know it was going to be a flaming horseshoe?” he said.
A/N: Written for a contest celebrating DeviantArt's 13th birthday. The story had to be 400 words or less (mine is exactly 400) and had to include these words: Peanut, Angst, Cat, Horseshoe, Moon, a capella, Stairs, Puberty, Acne, Luck, Velociraptor, Cocktail and Triskaidekaphobia.
“In honour of our future child, I shall add an extra month to the year,” said the King. “To bring the baby luck!”
The Prince was born on the 13th day of the 13th month.
It was a Friday.
“Really?” said the Queen. “You couldn’t have worked out this was going to happen?”
“My love,” said the King, trying to soothe his wife’s angst. “Let’s not give into triskaidekaphobia!”
But he did feel uneasy, and decided to invite the local fairies to the christening to be on the safe side.
There were the usual presents of handsomeness, long life, intelligence. Then it came to the turn of the youngest fairy. She was desperate to get to the lavatory (fairies have bladders the size of a peanut) and didn’t think carefully about the wording of her gift.
“He’ll be able to absorb others’ bad luck!” she declared. And sprinted to the facilities.
“So he’ll be full of everyone else’s misfortune,” said the Queen beginning to weep. The young Prince patted his velociraptor rattle and grinned like a gummy Cheshire cat, completely unperturbed.
The oldest fairy now stepped forward.
“I cannot remove the gift,” she said, “but I can lessen its effects. On the Prince’s 18th birthday, when he’s at an a capella concert, a shoe thrown at his neighbour will hit him instead. Whomsoever that shoe fits will be his one true love and they’ll live happily ever after.”
The Prince grew up and reached puberty. Because of his curse, all his friends had miraculously clear skin while he had truly breathtaking acne. But nothing could mar his charming personality.
On 13/13/1331 it all happened as the fairy had foretold, and as soon as the swelling had gone down, the Prince travelled the kingdom, searching for the one the shoe fitted.
Finally, under a lover’s moon, he saw her:
Beauty, his own true sweetheart.
The ceremony was held outside in the palace grounds as the bride had some problems getting up and down stairs.
“They do seem very happy,” said the oldest fairy, tentatively. “And she’s got lovely chestnut hair.”
The King drained his thirteenth cocktail and glared at the fay.
“Did you know it was going to be a flaming horseshoe?” he said.
A/N: Written for a contest celebrating DeviantArt's 13th birthday. The story had to be 400 words or less (mine is exactly 400) and had to include these words: Peanut, Angst, Cat, Horseshoe, Moon, a capella, Stairs, Puberty, Acne, Luck, Velociraptor, Cocktail and Triskaidekaphobia.
